Wake up Call..

Last night was a huge wake up call for me..

i received this hateful message from my ex who supposedly is so desperate to want to make me jealous of his new toy replacement that he whipped me in my weakest spots leaving me vulnerable and with all my confidence stripped away..so i confided in my best guy mate,Jarred.he told me to pray about it and so yeah.after i offed the light ready for bed,i prayed.i prayed for inner peace and for me not to encounter these obstacles in my life anymore.i had a 5 hour undang kursus the next day and as i had promised my boyfriend i would sleep early i did.it was 12.16 at that moment when i turned off the light.after laying there for just barely 4 minutes the tears came.gushing like a waterfall and there i was sobbing into my bolster till the whole cover got wet.after sobbing profusely for nearly half an hour till even jarred tot i would have cried myself to bed my sister came in.she switched on the lights n sat on my bed while i gulped n hiccuped trying to breathe properly thru my tears..

and you know what?for the first time i actually felt god's presence..he came thru my sister in helping me realise a key element in my life that i have not truly savoured and appreciated.she related to me her dark times in which she said that sometimes tho that person may be close to us,our best fren,our family member,our spouse or partners we wont be able to understand why someone we love so much will still want to hurt us.this is true in my friendships with the guys..jarred and jun wu.i may seem oblivious to what im doin yet i end up hurting them in the same way they hurt me back n all i can do is just wonder why..but thats not what really strucked me.the next thing was the one that really brought me back to reality..she asked me this question.isnt it the people that loves and cares bout u the most,what they think,their opinions about u,arent those what should matter?why get so affected by things ppl that dont matter anymore in your life say or do?there will always be ppl that gets jealous of u or in this case get their male ego so bruised since he's desperately seeking ur attention an trying to hurt u by parading his toy just so you'll run back to him.and now when u move on instead he says these to hurt u.and it'll oni give him the satisfaction of it getting to u.which of course was the truth as it dawned onto me.so Rachel Tey Mei Yee.you can stop the crying now.i'm not going to be affected by anymore of these lowlifes or pay attention to them.i will live my life to the fullest from this very moment with the ppl i love and care for the most that matters to me...i dont need to be someone im not just to act n pretend so as to get attention.i have these ppl in my life starting with Jesus,my loving parents and sister,my boyfriend Calvin Wong that shouldn't even have to suffer over me getting upset and insecure,my best mates Jarred who is always there for me to confide in and there to remind me to pray,the gurls:Amanda,Eunice,Pui Yee,Michelle,Tien Hoong,Vain,Sam,Suvi,Sher Leen,the sons:Choon Tik,Tze Ing,William,the youths of Calvary in which we all unite for HIM,the guys:Joe,Chee Kang,Jun Wu,Ian Logan,Chee Wai and the many more in which arent listed but are still important to me,to my life,to my general whole-being.thank you all for cheering me to no ends and for loving and caring for me..^^ my life would from now and should have been revolving around all of u for me to truly appreciate and start to show how i really care bout each and every one of u for every one of you matter more than u even think to me..you're that key element after all.

its 4.27 when i finally drift off in dried up tears and awesome awareness of a wake up call to start my brand new life now.